Purely Gratuitous

“they take the girls out for a walk in order to be noticed”

No matter where you go, people are always just people. The same move is perfected by those unfortunate sisters who want everybody to notice their breasts without anybody seeing them. So they take the girls out for a walk in order to be noticed, but if anybody acts like they saw, such a person is immediately dismissed as Mrs. Grundy’s legalistic aunt, and the responses can be pretty funny.
Douglas Wilson

“Just Between Us Girls”

When I say that some women are biddies, this is not because they differ with me. It is because they are biddies. If I say a woman is a harridan, it is not because she disagrees with me about something. Other factors are in play, one of them being that she is a harridan.
Douglas Wilson

“pert French breasts”

The physical activity of writing was nothing to him. When it came to pensive reflections of man and his existential condition (as mirrored in the experiences of Robert P.), foreign film reviews that were allowed to make as little sense as the films themselves, extended discussions of how the pert French breasts in those films could not really be deconstructed, Derrida or no Derrida, and long, protracted discussions of how people — particularly food service personnel — misunderstood him, Robert was a machine. If it was narcissism and self-indulgence you were after, he could write like a bat out of the bad place.
Douglas Wilson, Evangellyfish

“fake boobs”

Christ makes all things new. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. And when God gives us a new heart, it is far more real than the old broken one. In regeneration, God is turning us into people. God takes away the heart of stone, and in evangelical conversion He gives a heart of flesh. So what does God give? He gives a living, beating human heart. He gives a genuine heart. All our surgeons can do is give fake boobs.
Douglas Wilson

“insecurity on heels with boobs”

This takes us back to Christian maturity, and that maturity will answer the question for each couple. This is not saying that ‘whatever works for you’ is fine. No, it is possible to do this all wrong. An insecure girl can get a breast job, and when all is said and done, you have insecurity on heels with boobs — a bad combination, incidentally. Another woman who receives reconstructive surgery after breast cancer can thank God for His gracious gift. Was that so hard?
Douglas Wilson

“Gritty Realism”

Gritty Realism

‘To the extent that women have begun to appear in this shooter world, they do so as caricatures — with cartoonishly erotic bodies. The characteristic pose of Laura Croft from Eidos’s Tomb Raider is a straight-on view of her scowling face, skinny waist, pneumatic breasts, and two huge guns that she’s aiming directly at you. Like other female shooter games, such as Perfect Dark (Nintendo, 1999) and ONI (Bungie, 1999), the Tomb Raider series wants us to see the incredible buns and boobs, connected by a fragile Barbie waist, in motion’ (Lawrence and Jewett, The Myth of the American Superhero, p. 217).
Douglas Wilson

“On Not Being Scabrous”

A second issue has to do with the common assumption that anything that is lawful in one medium is lawful in another. But I don’t believe that this is the case at all. Some things should be strictly limited in how they are communicated. Trevin Wax said this in one of his posts: ‘If a movie version of the book of Genesis were made, it wouldn’t be for minors.’ This is quite true, and this means that to write a novel that contained the same level of description as Genesis does would be lawful to do. ‘And behold, it was Leah.’ The same with the Song of Solomon. Writing and publishing erotic poetry is clearly within bounds for believers. But do we get to make Song of Solomon: The Movie? Not a chance. Do we get to film those portions of Ezekiel where we see the Assyrians who are hung like a donkey and ejaculate like horses (Eze. 23:20)? We don’t just look at the content of what is said — we must also take care to learn how it is said. The media matter. Ezekiel can do what he does with words, and we can imitate him in our use of words, everything else being equal. But if we made a movie out of it, then we are clearly being scabrous.
Douglas Wilson

“you can get high and get laid in a 6′ × 8′ prison cell”

The parody of liberty is found in the libertarian image of the fornicating pot smoker — but you can get high and get laid in a 6′ × 8′ prison cell. There is one who defiantly cries out that he wants more liberty — so that he can enslave himself ever more tightly in chains he has forged himself. But no tyrant has ever been successfully resisted by cluster of lotus eaters, however big the cluster might be. Virtuous people cannot be kept as slaves, and an effete and self-indulgent people are made for slavery. It is their native habitat.
Douglas Wilson

“DuPont’s Finest”

We like the word authentic, but we detest the reality. A fading beauty in Beverly Hills walks into an upscale bistro, her skin stretched out with botox, her breasts as fine a pair as DuPont could make them, her hair the color of nothing found on earth, and yet she double checks with the waiter (twice) to be sure that her salad will have hormone-free chicken. Why? Either because she is committed to going all natural, which would not seem to be the case, or because her table is only big enough for one hormone queen. She is insisting that the chicken be the authentic one.
Douglas Wilson

“The whole point is to shock and insult those who don’t know that they are being played.”

Anyone who has not seen people getting their essential kicks out of offending white bread suburbanites really needs to get out more. Rap artists do it with what I shall call the enword, and homos do it with the effword, but they are all junior high boys wanting to startle the cute girls into a shocked round of giggling. The rap artist wants to be a bad ass, and the catamite wants an ass that is bad, but it all amounts to the same thing.

Imagine a hipster washed up on a desert island — no scope for irony at all. Imagine Lady Gaga washed up on a desert island — how long do you think those outfits would last? Imagine Miley Cyrus washed up on a desert island — think she would be dancing up and down the beach with that foam finger? No. The whole point is to shock and insult those who don’t know that they are being played. Take that away and the whole game collapses.
Douglas Wilson

“Bottle Blondisity”

Next time you are in a grocery store check out line check out (no, I don’t mean check out) the partially dressed female on the cover of the nearest women’s magazine, the kind my kids call a day-old doughnut. Right, the one with the fake bake tan, the abs of a sixteen-year-old boy, the boobs of a wet nurse, and the knock-your-eye out bottle blondisity. The one who was assembled by an ironic and detached photo shop gay guy the same way your kids play with Mr. Potato Head. Oh, and she also has cancer, non-operable and, more to the point, non-photographable. We can therefore afford to overlook that part.
Douglas Wilson