The Babylon Bee: “Don’t I need a verse or something?”

The Babylon Bee is a parody site that mocks Christians for being stupid. Pastor Douglas Wilson of Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho, has written for them, which is like a parody of parody if such a thing exists.

So do you remember that time he played coy with Rod Dreher, to rationalize his presiding over the marriage of serial pedophile Steven Sitler to a graduate of New Saint Andrews College? He wrote,

What precisely would Rod have wanted me to do? Would he want me to refuse to conduct the wedding, or would he want me to simply prohibit the wedding flat out? If I just refused to officiate, and Steven got married by a justice of the peace, what then? Would I have to excommunicate him for marrying? There is no biblical case for that. If his wife is fully apprised of all the facts, and she was, and she wanted to marry him, should I excommunicate them both for marrying? Don’t I need a verse or something? (Blog & Mablog, From Where You Are, October 2, 2015)

Yesterday The Babylon Bee wrote a fun piece that is almost exactly on point:

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Jesus Never Said ANYTHING About Felony Home Invasion

By Tyson Stull, Career criminal
August 31, 2016

Want to know what I’m incredibly tired of? Christians speaking out against felony home invasion. I’ll never understand why self-described “followers of Christ” feel so comfortable rallying around a topic that Jesus never even mentioned.

Can you name one single time Jesus specifically addressed this issue? No, you can’t.

If you disagree with me, then by all means, point in your Bible to the verse where Jesus explicitly says, “Do not engage in either first, second, or third degree home invasion.”

Please, show me the verse where Jesus says, “Do not forcefully enter the house of another with the intent to commit a felony, larceny, or assault once inside.”

Or just save yourself the time, because those verses are nowhere to be found.

Jesus said a lot of things, but He obviously saw felony home invasion as a non-issue. But that certainly doesn’t stop millions and millions of hypocritical Christians from cutting-and-pasting other things He said in order to form a haphazard theology, based on their own personal prejudices and fears, that discriminates against career home invaders and seeks to deprive them of rights essential to their being.

Shame on you!

You call yourselves followers of Jesus, but you speak out against home invaders? Jesus never said ANYTHING about felony home invasion! . . . Keep Reading →

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I bet that if someone proposed a column to The Babylon Bee that had this same line of argument but changed the subject from “home invasion” to “pedophiliac marriage,” The Babylon Bee would reject it outright as too offensive & implausible.

But there it is.