The following prayer is taken from pages 45–46 of Omnibus Volume II: Church Fathers through the Reformation (edited by Douglas Wilson & Tyler Fischer, © 2005 by Veritas Press). It is titled “Making Your Own Confession” and appears as though Pastor Doug Wilson of Christ Church, Moscow, is projecting his sins on to children.

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Heavenly Father and God of all blessings and light, how gracious you were to me! How you showered blessings on the head of one so undeserving. You, by the mystery of your providence, caused me to be born into a family that feared and honored Your holy name. Every week we sat under the preaching of Your word and I believed on You from early days, having passed through the waters of baptism in my infancy.

Also, you gave me the extraordinary blessing of having two wonderful, Christian parents. My father worked diligently to provide for my family, and my mother loved and cared for me and my siblings, teaching us Your ways. When I sinned, they disciplined me, and although I dreaded it then, how I thank you for it now. Still, I often sinned and wandered far from the way of righteousness. I recall how I deceived a classmate in a first-grade coloring contest by tricking him into voting for my picture and then I did not follow through on our agreement to vote for his.

While at times I try to forget these youthful sins, they demonstrate my own weakness and lack of character. Help me, O Lord, to recall these things clearly. This sin happened when I was six or seven. My teacher had given us a coloring assignment. She instructed us to be careful coloring, because we still struggled to stay within the lines of the drawing. As a young man, I wanted desperately to win, but many of the girls were better at coloring than I was. To motivate us she let us know that we were going to vote for the best one after we were all finished, and the winner was to receive some trifle of a prize. This contest brought out the worst in me. I was competitive, Lord, and the desire to do my best was, no doubt, from You. My lust for victory, however, caused me to lie and deceive my classmates.

I deceived a student named Adam. I made an agreement with him, offering to vote for his picture if he would in turn vote for mine. (None of us were allowed to vote for our own.) In a small class like this the turning of a vote or two could make the difference. Neither of us should have made an agreement like this, bending the truth to gain victory, for neither of our pictures deserved the award. Alan was not good at coloring and had more trouble staying within the lines than I did. When the time came, he faithfully voted for my poor drawing. When my turn came to vote for his, I was embarrassed and voted instead for another students’ drawing.

Pride led me to these sins. First, I wanted to win so badly that I was willing to bend the truth and to encourage others to bend it with me in hopes that I could win and lord it over my classmates. Their opinion of me guided my actions more than Your word; I feared them more than You. My pride also caused me to break my agreement with Alan. As I contemplated voting for his drawing, I knew that this would cause me to look foolish in the eyes of my classmates; knowing that Alan had already cast his vote for mine, I knew that I could protect my own reputation and have his vote as well. Thus, I deceived him.

The manner in which I lied was contrived and vile. Instead of being man enough to be open about my sin, I hid it by pretending that I did not recognize his picture. Instead, I pretended confusion and voted for a better drawing. I, however, was not confused, but was thinking only of myself and what my classmates would think of me. Alan was crestfallen and rightly trusted me less because of my deception. What deceit and falsehood an unbridled lust for victory brings!

Some might seek to excuse my actions for various reasons, but You, O Lord, know the truth. Because I sat in the back of the class, some might think that I could not see clearly, but I admit that I clearly understood the agreement and knew the picture that I had agreed to vote for. The confusion that I pretended was yet another lie. Others could claim that I was motivated only by fairness. Alan’s work was not worthy of my vote, so, one could argue, I was only failing to execute a plan that was based on twisting the truth. While it is true I was twisting the truth, my motives were not pure, but sinful. I was looking out for myself, and was in no yearning for the truth. It was pride and not virtue that motivated my failure to do what I had agreed to do.

Gracious Lord, You made my sin bitter to me. Immediate, my conscience was troubled by my action and the victory that I sought was kept from me as well. The look on Alan’s face when he recognized that I had lied to him is etched into my memory. Often I have seen it in my mind’s eye over the years, and this sin has kept me from lying to others. Father, you are gracious and kind: forgive, O Lord, the sins of youth even though they are riddled with bad motives and deceit.

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